| 2020-04-30 02:39:03 |
The Prophecy Ch. 7
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I hope that there is more coming soon. It's been more than a year since you posted chapter 7. With the cliffhanger you left in chapter 7, chapter 8 should prove to be explosive. As for ideas for future directions, consider that sorcery is inherited so maybe the Lion turns out to be Luke's long lost father and Yoshiko turns out to be Luke's ally in the end. |
| 2020-04-30 02:43:01 |
The Prophecy Ch. 7
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Using a spell checker only gets you 10% of the way. Similar words with different meanings (e.g., fell and feel) get missed by a spell checker. I love the story so if you're looking for someone who would check your work before you publish, I'd be happy to help. |
| 2020-04-30 02:53:15 |
The Prophecy Ch. 7
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Don't know why my previous comments came up as "Unknown user" but they came from me (rlcsub63). |
| 2020-04-30 02:53:50 |
The Prophecy Ch. 7
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Don't know why my previous comments came up as "Unknown user" but they came from me (rlcsub63). |
| 2020-05-05 15:51:59 |
Sharing My Room With Sis
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I like the story but, truth be told, it lacks realism. In a home with 3 bedrooms occupied by a mother (no father), a teenage daughter and a teenage son, most mothers would have the daughter move in with them. They wouldn't put a teenage son and daughter in the same room. Moreover, no one would leave a room with a broken window until morning to repair. The son would have been hauled out of bed and sent to put plastic or whatever else is at hand over the broken window so as to limit the water damage. The room would have been emptied that night. No one would have waited until the next morning. As for the insurance company, most policies have very limited mold damage coverage but they do cover water damage. The insurance company would have insisted on sending in a water damage and restoration contractor to dry out the room immediately. Waiting 3 or 4 days only guarantees the growth of mold. Under the conditions described in this story, the rooms below would also be damaged. |