| 2014-10-03 04:01:05 |
Caught Parking II: Alex Follows Jim Home
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I like how he isn't rushing it--taking his time builds anticipation and makes the reward that much sweeter! |
| 2014-10-03 04:17:45 |
Caught Parking III: Alex Gets a New LIfe
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That was amazing! |
| 2014-10-05 23:24:45 |
Sophie my blonde sister ( you vote what happens next)
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in the first few paragraphs, you went from 'a little better than middle class' to 'quite wealthy'. The discrepancy was distracting. Also, if your sister is the same age as you, then she is your TWIN sister--it helps if you just go ahead and say it. There were a lot of spelling errors as well. You definitely need to take out the part in the middle about voting on what happens next: it takes the reader right out of the story! I'd give the story a 'C' over all, but if you fix these things, I'd give it a strong 'B'. My vote: no threesome until they have had sex alone for a while--jumping right into a threesome would be "too much" to believe. |
| 2014-10-09 03:08:54 |
Marine brats
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Pretty good story! I liked the detail in the build up....(previous post was from me...) |
| 2014-10-20 03:25:41 |
Avery
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You are, of course, correct. I knew that as well. I was simply pointing out a source that backed my story as a possibility. A woman can get pregnant the first time she ovulates after having a baby and, as you said, that can happen as soon as four weeks after. It depends on her age and a number of other factors; every woman is different and just because she becomes fertile after 4 weeks one time doesn't mean she will again the next time. It's all a roll of the dice. |