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Introduction:

My Secret Life, by "Walter", is the memoir of a gentleman describing the author's sexual development and experiences in Victorian England. The work itself is enormous, amounting to over one million words, the eleven original volumes amounting to over 4,000 pages. The text has a frank discussion of sexual matters and other hidden aspects of Victorian life make it a rare and valuable social document. Enjoy.
MY SECRET LIFE BY WALTER

VOLUME-2

Chapter X

Nelly and Sophy. • The beer-house again. • Sophy’s belly. • On the road. • Against a tree. • At the baudy house with Sophy. • Her narrative. • Tom and the three sisters. • Fred on the scent.-Pender’s troubles.

I had some food at an hotel, then returning on foot saw at the end of the lane two peasant girls in their Sunday finery. I looked at first without recognizing them, but as I got close saw one was Nelly, the girl I had raped. She stopped, I smiled. “You here, why?” “Taking a walk sir.” “Come with me.” She hesitated, looked at the other girl. “Never mind”, said I, “bring your friend with you.” Two minutes brought us to the beer-house again. “Stay here”, said I. I went to the side entrance which was up a yard, told the woman who stared when she opened the door to me to show the girls up the other way. They came through the shop, and stood curtsying when they came into the little sitting room.

I wanted Nelly when I saw her, and hence what I did; but was embarrassed now, for with the other in the room I did not know how to proceed without compromising her; so sent for some spirits. They sat Sheepishly. I said to Nelly with the view of getting rid of the other, “Perhaps your friend would like to call for you presently.” “She is my sister”, said Nelly. Impulsively I cried, “Your sister?” — “why she is the girl who was in the family way .” “Oo — h !” said Nelly’s sister, “what a lie, — what a shame to say such things of a girl, — who said so?” I was disconcerted. “I heard it, but can’t recollect who.” Nelly never spoke, but sat looking at me with her tongue out on one side, and a funny expression in her eye. “I’ll go”, said her sister. “Don’t go”, said Nelly, “the gent’s asked us in, and will be offended, won’t you sir?” “Yes”, I replied.

The liquor came, I dosed them with it, and a letch for the sister came over me. “She in family way, that young thing,-is it so ? — how I should like to see her belly.” My conversation got warm, then baudy, the girls got warm, and laughed at my smut. From kissing one, I got to kiss the other, then to pinch, poke and feel their legs, I spoke about women being in the family way, made light of it, wished I was so myself, and so on, and they let out as the liquor worked, and I questioned.

The younger was over Eighteen years old, Melly was 19. Said I, “A girl can’t be in the family way before she is getting her periods.” “Oh ! yes she can”, said Nelly. “How do you know?” She laughed. I plied the liquor, got the young one on to my knee, and my hand up her clothes. A yell, a threat to go, “nonsense”, from Nelly. Then I shoved my hand up Nelly’s petticoats, — which she permitted quietly. Then I had a strange whim.

“Stand close together with your backs to me, and put your hands behind you, and I will give you some-thing before you go; then each shall ask the other to guess what I have put in her hand.” They did, and expected money. I pulled out my prick and balls, one girl’s hand I guided under my balls, the other’s round my prick. They touched at the same time and knew what it was, and turning round, “It’s his thing”, said the youngest.

“You knew it was a man’s prick”, said I. “you have felt one, and one has been into you, — let’s feel your cunt, do, — you are in the family way, I know you are.”

Then I sat between them, talking outrageous baudiness with my prick out. “Come into the other room”, said I, “and let me see if you are in the family way, and I will give you this (producing a sovereign); if you are, or are not, you shall have it.” She refused, but eyed the sovereign. Said Nelly, “Well, I wish he would ask me.” “So I do, but she shall come first, you afterwards.” The girl asked, “How will you tell?” “My dear I shall lay you on the bed, throw up your clothes look at your belly, and feel your cunt.” “I shan’t then.” “Then you won’t get a sovereign”, and I put it bye. “I’ll go with you”, said Nelly, but I would not accept her offer. There was a pause, the sister sat reflecting, her gaiety was gone.

Soon afterwards I renewed the request. “Let him”, said Nelly, “he won’t talk, he don’t know people in the village.” The girl shook her head sullenly, Nelly looked at me nodded her head, and put her tongue out. I did not know what it meant, at last guessed. “Is she?” I asked. Nelly kept on nodding. “Well Nelly says you are in the family way.” The girl began to cry. “What’s the good of crying?” said Nelly, “you can’t hide it long.” The girl kept silently crying. I persuaded, Nelly persuaded, and at last she came into the bed-room. I could feel the poor little girl’s hard belly, lifting her clothes I opened her thighs and looked; then she resisted, but a little only. I frigged her, kissed her a little, coaxed her, and then fucked her. She spent freely. It’s my luck to get sisters.

“Tell me Sophy all about it, — how long since you were got in the family way?-your sister will wait.

She counted on her fingers and said, “Four months and about a week.” “Are you sure?” “Yes.” “How can you tell?” “I have never been done but on one day.” “Nonsense.” “It’s true.” “Do you mean that once putting it up you got you in the family way?” “I didn’t mean that”, said she, “he were only once with me, but he did it all night, and nearly all the next day.” “A dozen times?” “Don’t know, I was so ill, so sleepy.” “Who is the father?” She shook her head. “I can’t say, — dare not, — it would be worse for me if I did.” “What are you going to do?” “Go to the work-house if they won’t keep me”, said the poor girl crying again. She was rather watery headed.

It was an exciting termination to the day. After frigging her till she was in the seventh heaven, I fucked her again. It was the same bed I had fucked Pender on.

“You’ve been an hour”, said Nelly when we went in, “what have you been doing?” “Nothing but examining.” The girl stuck to that also. “Oh I gammon”, said Nelly.

“You come now”, said I. She would not, was sulky, and another hour went away. It was getting late, I pulled Nelly into an open-legged posture over mine as I sat on the chair, and lifted her clothes. Her back was to her sister. I got my cock between her legs, it rubbed her thighs, but she slipped away, turned sulky, and would not let me fuck her, though I felt her. They left, and I directly after. When clear of the town, and on the road it got dark, I joined them and learnt where Sophy lived, and could be met. Because Nelly would not let me I felt a want for her and made baudy requests. She got randy, and told Sophy to go ahead. Then I got her up against a large tree, and straddling my legs wide to get into her, found it difficult as she was short, but was poking her with vigor when we heard footsteps and voices. “Oh !” said she, “let me go, it’s so and so.” Although I held her on my peg, grasping her bum, and hoping to spend before they came up, I being empty was long about it, so she uncunted me, and slipped away just in time. It was two or three men she knew, who seeing girls ahead ran after them, I dodging round the tree as they ran past. They over-took the girls, I followed at a distance sufficiently near to hear their low chaff, their attempts to kiss the girls, and the yells of the sluts when they attempted more.

When I saw Pender again I heard that her husband had for some reason gone to *** on the Sunday she was there with me. He stayed, and took his wife home. “Did he do you?” said I. She colored up. “It be a fact he did,-it be most curious. I were hot with running, and fetched the meat from the bake-house. After dinner he said, ‘Well you do look comely, you do to-day, where ‘as you been?’, and he pulled me on his knees, and put his hands up my clothes, — and in all my life he never had done such a thing afore in day-time. Says he, ‘Lass we’ll have a game at mother and father.’ Said I, ‘Why P., you must have been drinking,’ He pulls me down on to sister’s bed which were in the corner of the room, and I would not let him. He lays, ‘Don’t make a row, for I means it’, and so I let him do it.” Such games went on until full Autumn, I was always after one or the other as fancy led, or opportunity offered; but was obliged to be more and more cunning, for fear I should be found out. Although I had heavy fucking at times, yet had good rests between. It was a jolly time, but mainly with three of the four women now. Nelly got the most of my cock at first, Sophy very soon after.

The little one in the family way had taken my fancy. I fucked her in the lane and fields, but mainly upright, the grass being now damp. One evening we went to the baudy house. I had pleasure in fucking her, but she was always crying. “Why do you meet me?” said I. “To get money to help me if they turn me out.” “When?” “When they find I am in the family way.” At last but with difficulty, I got out of her much about her seducer and give the narrative as near as I can in its order.

“Yes it is a big man, a fine, tall man, and quite a man, not old, not young. — Oh ! I dare not say who, it would be worse for me (a cry), — you won’t tell Nelly,-how came you to know my sister? — do you do anything to her ? — now do tell me.” “Well tell me your history, and perhaps I will tell you about Nelly.”

“Well he got into bed with me saying, ‘It’s cold, — and it were, — let’s lay here, it will be no harm, no one will know.’ I said I would hollow, but there was no one in the house — Now I am letting out, and I won’t.” She stopped, and would not tell more.

Persuasion, kisses, promises, and she answered my questions again. “He cuddled me, he was big and strong, and I could not help it; and then he pulled up my shimmy, and his shirt was up, and he put his belly close to mine.” “Then his prick was up against your belly?” “I shan’t say”, said she with a modest fit, no sham. “Was it? — was it just as my prick now is?” Her story was exciting me, I pulled her belly up to mine, and my prick, a right good stiff one was between us. “I suppose it were”, said she, “I don’t recollect, all seems in a muddle, he hurt me dreadful, I screamed, he put something over my mouth, and I don’t know no more; but he was doing it right up, and I were hollowing, — and then I cried.”

“Are you sure you cried out?” “I hollowed I know, but I knowed there was no one to hear.” “Then you were in the house alone?” “Yes.” “What house?” “I shan’t say, — Nelly is always asking, and I won’t say, — you won’t tell her, will you now sir, what I have told you ?”

“I don’t recollect more”, she went on, “but he lay on me, oh! a long, long time.” “Not up you?” “Yes oh ! a long time.” “Did he keep on fucking?” “He kept on a doing it and stopping,-no he never pulled it out, at last I fainted or slept I suppose, for when I recollect more he was out of bed. Then he got into bed, and he did the same I can’t say how many times. When it were day I said, ‘Ain’t you going to work?’ and he said, ‘No. If any one comes they will think I am gone, and if you say a word if anyone knocks I will murder you.’ Then he got up, and showed me his razor, and said, ‘Do you see that? — I bloody well mean it, mind.’ Then he got into bed again, and he did it again.”

“Did you like it?” “I don’t know, I was all pain, but I think I must at last; I was so muddled like and ill I could not move. Then he dressed and says, says he, ‘If ever you tell I’ll cut your bloody throat; now you say you were ill, and stopped at home from work’, and he went away to his work.” I guessed she had been raped.

Another day I had Nelly, and questioned her. She said she wanted to know, but did not; she guessed, but dared not say. Sophy had said there would be murder if she told who the father was, but she guessed. She was only eleven months older than Sophy, who must have been in the family way and was “hankering after the chaps” quite early. “Mother used to slap her for it.” Nelly’s courses had only recently come on, she said.

Sophy although younger and slighter built, had more hair on her cunt than Nelly, and gave me the idea of being older. Neither were tall, both were larger in their thighs, haunches, and bubbies, than town girls of the same age, as far as I can recollect.

I can’t recollect the order, but only the broader features of this part of my amorous history. I think that after the Sunday when I had Pender and Sophy I could not get to Pender, for the farm-yard from morning to night was full of laborers; so busied my-self with Sophy, who two or three times the same week met me at ***, and what I have narrated was told me there. It delighted me to hear about her virgin offering, it made my cock stand. Then I would fuck the little wench, and make her arse wag like the tail of a duck that had a thwack with a stone, then would question her again. If she said she should say no more, I used to remind her of what she had let out on the previous night. What delighted my sensuous imagina- tion, was the evident fact that the man was big, and with a big prick, and must have kept it up with her without uncunting till he had fucked her three times. Her praying him to go, trying to get from under him his grasping her to him so that she could not move, his laying quiet on her, then commencing his shoves, — all proved it. He seems to have began his assault on her about nine o’clock one night, and never went out of the bed till two o’clock the next afternoon.

“Has he ever done it since ?” “Never, he has never had a chance; he has tried to catch me coming home, but I always come with some one else; he has asked me, but I never would.” “I dare say you egged him on; had he never made a baudy sign? Never shown you his prick?” “Both Nelly and I had seen that”, said she, “we looked through the key-hole if we heard—.” Here she stopped short, and nothing would make her go on, she saw she was on the point of giving the key to the riddle.

I advised her to get as much money as she could, and then if unkind she might snap her fingers at them. She had kept all I had given her. I had a feast with her of rump-steak and onions one night; she eat till she could eat no longer. I toppled her up with hot spirits and water, and then tumbled on to the bed with her. She was very communicative, I frigged her about till with a sigh she said, “Oh ! let’s do it.”

“Tell me who did it to you then, and I’ll give you another sovereign to keep you through your confinement; feel my prick, and tell me.” She reflected, she was so lewd, I knelt on the bed, my prick standing stiff in front of her face. “You won’t ever tell any-body” said she, “will you?” I swore I would not. Rubbing her eyes she hesitated, then said, “Tom.” “Who is Tom?” “Hester’s husband.” “Who is Hester?” “My sister,-oh ! don’t tell, or he will murder me.” I saw the whole story at once. In another minute we were fucking. Afterwards she told me all.

There were three sisters, Hester married Tom, a laborer; Sophy lived with them, Nelly lived with their mother. Tom and Hester had a two-roomed cottage, in one they slept, in the other, which was sitting-room and kitchen, was a bed in the corner, where slept Sophy. The mother was dangerously ill, Hester went to assist Nelly attending her; so Sophy was alone in the house with big Tom, who took the opportunity to put his big prick into Sophy’s little cunt, get her in the family way, threaten to murder her if she ever told, to turn Hester into the streets, and do any other amount of deviltry. Sophy was frightened of Tom and at first of her sisters knowing about her swelling belly, till it was found out. All was quite probable. I believed it implicitly. The size of Tom’s prick, and the number of times he had done her were all described with modesty. I pitied the girl, and resolved to help her. Tom bore I found a bad character, and Hester no bet-ter, had been confined soon after she was married. All three sisters now lived with Tom since the mother’s death.

“You knew all about fucking long before he did it to you.” “Of course we did. Nelly and I often talked about it, Hester told us what pleasure it was; we could hear Tom and Hester doing it. Nelly if sleeping with me used to listen. They used to hang a cloth before the door, — there were cracks in it,-if they did not, we could see through if there were light, and some- times they forgot. Nelly and I have both seen Tom’s cock that way. Once he showed it to me as it were by accident; he was in the privy, and he called out to me to bring him a leaf. When I took it him his cock was out and stiff; he grinned, I looked, he took the leaf, and ran a hole in it with his finger, and put his cock through the hole, then he said, ‘If you tell Hester that, she will turn you out.’ So I never told, but I told Nelly. He did the same to Nelly one day, but we held our tongues.”

That is all I have to say about Sophy here. I had her from time to time until within three months of her confinement, for simple curiosity. I had no pleasure in it when her belly got big, but I kept her in money.

Nelly I also had. She came a saucy, lewd, low-tongued little bitch; but I liked her fuck. I found her larking with men, and stroked her more than once in the lanes. One night I caught her by surprise, and saw some male going off in the dark as I thought. “That was a fellow with you”, said I. “No it was not.” But her cunt had a most unusual wetness. I hesitated, and said that some one I thought had just wetted her. She was confused, denied it, and whimpered at my suspicion. I again felt her, and putting my fingers and thumb together was sure it was spunk, and turned away; but felt so randy, that I turned back after her, wiped her cunt with my handkerchief, made her piss, and then fucked her up against a fence.

As I relinquished my hold of her bum I heard some-thing fall with a chink. “Oh !” said she, “I have lost some money.” It was very dark, I picked up the money, could not see what it was, but was sure from the feel it was gold, and said so. She had got it back before l made the remark, and would not let me feel it again. “You told me you hid the money I gave you.” “I’ve been carrying it about for fear of its being found.” I told her she was lying.

I had been out that day with my gun. On returning found Fred had come down from town, and been there all day; he had had a quarrel with Laura. I don’t know how it struck me, but I asked, and found he had only just come in and said to myself, “He has fucked Nelly, it was his money she dropped, it was his sperm.” I did not tell him so then.

The farm-yard now was never empty, they were thrashing in the barn. Molly was scarcely visible, and if in the yard her mother was at her back. When I did see her I winked at her and she laughed. She was growing wonderfully, and my desires turned to her. I had Pender one night or so; but a few hurried words, a smooth of the buttocks, a hurried grope with the finger, a silent kiss or two, shove, shove, shove like a steam-engine, and a pull out of my prick almost before the spunk was well out, was all I could get.

I was out shooting most days, and would walk across the farm-yard just to see if the coast was clear. After several Sundays had passed I got Pender again at the baudy house. P. took her being in the family way rather grumpily, and she hated him. She loved me, begged me to take her away, where, how, she cared not, so long as she knew that I alone could have her; she would live alone if I only came to see her once a month, she said.

I was sorry for this. What had been pastime to me was going to be misery to her. I had to show her the impossibility of my keeping her; then she said she would drown herself. Altogether it was not a very comfortable meeting apart from the fucking, which was as good as usual I dare say, though I don’t recollect much about it.

Fred went backwards and forwards to London, I did occasionally, but not on his days, for he was in my way. I did not tell him now much about my little games, and got most of my women when he was absent. My mother and sister also went home, and I was glad of that, but it made it more needful for me to walk and drive out with aunt and cousins. I was constantly scheming and dodging how to get one or the other of the women, and that seemed to give zest to the affair; but I think now that the pleasure I gave the girls when I had them had much to do with it. Sophy and Nelly now came after me, as much as I went after them. Each now knew that I fucked the other. “When did you do it to my sister?” was a frequent question put by both of them to me.

To be Continued

-------------------------

Notes;

1. During my visit to London for studies where we had an Old Ancestral Home, I stumbled on a family treasure. Apart from other things I also found a hump of books, diaries, and notes in the treasure which contained classic, Age-old, Erotic books, Novels, and Magazines probably collected by my Ancestors. They are all timeless and precious. They are a must-read for all erotica lovers.

2. Out of the aforesaid collection, presenting an amazing account which was first published in 1888, My Secret Life, by "Walter", is the memoir of a gentleman.

3. The book My Secret Life has been authored by "Walter". The identity of "Walter" is unknown. so the Original Authors are long dead or unknown.

4. My Secret Life, by "Walter", is the memoir of a gentleman describing the author's sexual development and experiences in Victorian England. It was first published in a private edition of eleven volumes, at the expense of the author, including an imperfect index, which appeared over seven years beginning around 1888.

5. The work in having 11 Volumes containing a total of 184 chapters apart from the Introduction & Preface.

6. All characters be read as of more than age of 18 years.

7. My sincere apologies to the author of the Novel and readers for editing, or modifying the underage content, if any, to make it suitable for publishing in Modern times.
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