The weekend came and I was still in emotional turmoil. I want to tell you that what happened next just occurred accidentally but in reality I worked to make it happen.
Alcohol affects people in different ways. It sometimes can make you lose your inhibitions or intensifies emotions that are already there. I have however observed over the years that many individuals have a baseline they incline towards. Nadine for example gets tired and more introverted, me I am getting more brave and outgoing. Also I can drink a lot, until I get shit-faced. This is my secret superhero power actually. Nobody expects the lanky Asian looking girl to hold her liquor like I do. Seriously, you know that Marion character from the 80s Indiana Jones movies with Harrison Ford? That is me in drinking games!
Matze on the other hand gets all touchy-feely. I have experienced it first hand during movie nights we used to have regularly in our clique before the pandemic. Or on nights we were going out together to bars and pubs. He is not one to get intrusive or aggressive towards strangers, but towards his friends this is a different story. One time I have seen him fool around with Sebastian, even kissing him on the lips during a 1€ bet with another pal.
And from stories Nadine had told me (usually she was quite annoyed then) after such evenings I also knew that his sex drive was pretty high when they were home together. Nadine had some really bad memories from having sex while being drunk or getting laid by drunk guys from her wild days while we were studying, so she tried to avoid it whenever possible.
I knew Nadine would leave earlier from work on Friday, to travel to her family in West Germany. After I made sure that she had indeed left Berlin, I texted Matze, asking him if he wanted to catch up on the session we missed during the week. To my surprise he wrote back almost instantly telling me it was good to see that I felt better and he was looking forward to it. He asked me if I wanted to come to their place, but today I wanted him with me. I had never tried to seduce someone before and I was certain that I would fail or my confidence would falter if I was reminded of my friend at their home.
Before he arrived it took me hours to decide what to wear. I even tried on the most slutty clubwear from my mid twenties (which surprisingly still fit me like they had ages ago). In the end I opted to stick with the casual slightly oversized outfit I usually wore together with my sweatpants. I don't had any sexy lingerie at that time, so I weighed if I should wear my underpants or not. It felt too unnatural to me without them, so my boring functional panties and non-de*********** bra stayed on.
Then I waited and fought with my conscience. Should I really follow this thru ? I was totally aware how this could destroy my personal relation with Nadine or other friends of ours. This however was not the show stopper for me at that point in time. I was primarily afraid that Matze would reject me, or laugh at my assumption that he would want to do anything sexual with me. Still, I convinced myself, that would be preferable to not trying this out one time and regretting to not have acted upon my feelings for the rest of my life.
When he arrived I embraced him much longer then I usually did, enjoying the feeling of my small, sensitive boobs pressing against his muscular body through the thin fabric of his summer shirt. He was a little irritated, asked me if everything was alright and I laughed and truthfully stated that I just felt a little odd today and would tell him about it later. But first I wanted to watch an episode or two and I especially wanted to get drunk, tough week and so forth.
On a side note, if you think it is a bunch of crap that this old girl here is telling you all about her stupid feelings and failures and you get nothing out of this confessions let me make one last point before I let you go. I have told you earlier that Berlin is the best place to go in Germany ( and the world in general) but the best beer comes out of my native country - Bavaria.
There can be no discussion about it and I have time and again heard many foreigners confirm this prejudice. Among the thousands of brands there is one empress of all beers, the pinnacle of the German art of brewing so to say: It's Augustiner-Bräu. Established during the late medieval era, it is crafted today by Munich's oldest independent brewery. Lucky me I don't have to go all the way South to my barbarian tribe of alpine sisters to get this liquid gold. Since I am living in the best place in the world my trusted shop around the corner, enterprising fellow that he his, says screw local patriotism and sells this fine swill.
Matze was born in South Germany, same as me, and shares my views in this regard. Our boozy evening commenced and soon there was this unselfconscious intimacy between us I had often felt during those last weeks and months. We were at our second 6 pack of beers (Augustiner is not actually sold in 6 packs but I like the picture) and he was tiddly leaning against me while he had his arm at the backrest of my sofa. I took all the courage I could muster and quickly spurt upward and kissed him inexpertly on the lips.
He looked at me, confused, asked me what that was for. And then I started telling him everything. How I was in love with him and wanted him to touch me. I cried and sobbed and despite that felt wonderful as he held me in his arms, slightly caressing my shoulder and just let me talk without interruption. After I was finished my heart was racing madly and I dreaded how he would react. I expected him to tell me that this was wrong, that we were nothing but friends. But instead he looked me in my tear stained face and told me how courageous it was to tell him about these feelings. He told me that he had been drawn to me for a long time in the same way.
He then told me his side of the story. It had been some years ago at Sebastians birthday and we were all going out together, dancing through the night and with each other. It was in that night, when our hot bodies, wet from perspiration, mingled he had seen his girlfriends best friend, the quiet, unimposing film and book-nerd he knew for the woman she was for the first time. He had fallen in love with me back then, but had pushed these feelings aside. He did not want to endanger the relationship he had with Nadine for a stupid folly, which was only in his head.
He started to cry, too, as he explained how he had always wanted to get to know me better and how happy he was to finally have gotten the chance to do so at the beginning of this crazy year 2020. I then told him that I was sorry to have kissed him without asking first and we both laughed a little. There was a short moment of silence afterwards until he asked me if it was okay for me if we kissed again.
And that we did. He leaned down to me holding my face between his firm, but soft hands. He smiled as he swept a tear from my right cheek with his thumb and then our lips met and he carefully and slowly kissed me. I eagerly kissed him back and enjoyed flicking my tongue against his. I was in heaven!
His hands were all over my body. He petted the back of my head, stroking my short, pink colored hair. I felt his hands caress my back and touching the side of my small, firm breasts hidden below my hoody and tank top. I, too enjoyed him, digging my fingers into the muscles of his defined and strong arms and letting my shaking hands wander deeper down his spine to his buttocks which I had admired for a long time.
Between kissing i felt his hands wander below my clothes, touching my slender waist, his eyes silently asking for permission to proceed. I invitingly put my hands up to help him strip me. Unfortunately the collar of my hoody got caught up at my chin and I felt incredibly stupid while we were both struggling for half a minute to free me from my tangled outfit. Afterwards we laughed about it and in a way this felt as satisfying as making out.
Not wanting to break the spell I quickly reached behind me and removed my bra. I felt a familiar heat in my face as my cheeks blushed. I have hated it for as long as I can think of that I can't control this reaction of my body to shameful or enticing events. But Matze didn't seem to give it much reflection. He just gently pushed me back on the couch, quickly stripped his own T-Shirt and lay down atop of me.
I intuitively spread my legs behind his thighs and felt his hard Penis through his jeans pressing the pillowy fabric of my jogging pants and undies against my abdomen. He teasingly kissed my neck, made his way down to my erect nipples and started to lick and suckle them. When I giggled and squirmed he instantly stopped, asked me if everything was ok. I told him honestly that it tickled me but playing with my nipples was not something I was used to when pleasuring myself. It felt so natural talking with him about what I liked and what I didn't. When I had been talking about these things with my gals and even Nadine I had always felt inhibited and uptight.
He gave me another long and lustful kiss before his mouth wandered down the centerline of my body and between my legs. I felt as if my chest should burst from my excited heart pounding against it as he carefully peeled the fabric down my lower extremities and I felt his warm breath against my exposed vagina.
While I did not fancy him sucking at my tetchy little tits, what he did down there was magnificent. As you know by now my experience with sex is more than limited, but even without any comparison I can tell when something just feels right. I will try to describe it, although I am not certain my English skills are as good as his French. He kind of rolled his tongue in the middle, tensing it by this and then started kissing, vibrating and sucking around my clit. He teasingly played around my labia time and again and then untensed his tongue to softly lick all the way down between my clit and increasingly dampening opening.
Of course I felt embarrassed and odd having someone else at my pussy for the first time in my live. (Well of course I have spread my legs for other women before - gynecologist yuck - but that is not something any girl wants to think about during her sex debut)
I didn't want him to stop, dug my hands deep inside his long, brown hair and felt how much he was encouraged by my moaning and panting. I couldn't physically have stopped it anyway as I was so expertly satisfied and touched.
I became very nervous when I heard him unbutton his jeans and pulling them down. He must have felt me shivering as he brought his face against mine and asked me if everything was all right. He knew from our long talks that I had never had a boyfriend before but I had never told him outright that I was still a virgin. I suspected that he had figured it out himself but I still wanted to tell him myself, despite the stammering mess that I was.
He gave me a slightly concerned glance and asked me if this really wasn't going too far and if we should stop but I told him that stopping was the last thing I wanted him to do. I wanted to feel him all over me and inside me.
And then I was making love with Matze. He was very gentle with me at first, when he entered me and slowly started to thrust into my pussy. I will be honest however and it didn't feel great for me, even hurting me a little. Whatever love gods talent he had with that tongue did unfortunately not extend to his manhood. Or maybe it is my fault and I am just difficult to please by penetration. For me what gets me off is the vibration and playing with my clit. I can dildo myself to orgasm, but it takes a long time normally and I really need to have full control and the right amount of pressure at exactly the right spot. (We had a premier at the start of November, when I was riding him and grinding my clit hard against his pubic hair, but sorry I am ahead of the times there, July-me was far away from orgasm).
He picked up the speed, visibly and audibly occupied by his own lust and delight. And that actually felt satisfying to me in another way. As I watched his intense expression it aroused me to see how much lust my body, I had so often thought too lowly about before, could give another person. When he finally came inside me he buried his face between my neck and shoulders and had his hands behind my booty, pressing my pelvis hard against his.
After that I smiled at him happily and we laughed an unburdened laughter. It took a bit of acrobatics on his side to reach for my tank top which lay just a little outside our reach on the floor to have something to wipe the sperm gushing out of my pussy and keep it from soiling my sofa.
After that we lay cuddled together in the atmosphere of a hot summer evening. He seemed to realize something and asked me a little embarrassed if I was on birth control. Well, of course I was. It helps me control my cycle and I always had the feeling that my menstrual cramps were less severe compared to the times when I tried not taking the pill. But to all my sisters out there don't waste a chance like this if it ever presents itself to you with a new boyfriend or one-night stand. I told him in the most innocent and virgin way I could muster that I had no idea what he was talking about. The look on his face was just priceless and I giggled and laughed out so loud I thought I might die from it.
Despite the fact that I had betrayed the trust of my best friend and had slept with her husband, which would certainly lead to trials and tribulations later, I had never felt this content, happy and unburdened since a really long time.