| 2019-01-10 03:41:32 |
Potential Part 15
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Excelent example of your talent, demonstrating only a small sliver of the potential lurking in that porn brain of yours. HOWEVER with this chapter you surprised me, you have a not too well hidden romantic streak in you! I like romance as well as suspense. Both are vital ingredients in making a story a page turner. |
| 2019-01-10 02:40:38 |
Potential Part 14
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I just finished this chapter thanks to the marvels of modern communication devices, having experienced the pleasure of enjoying your prose traveling 600 MPH at 37,500 feet in an airliner offering free WiFi. This chapter represents the best in the relating of an interesting tale. You have the gift of being able to totally captivate the reader, getting them addicted as with nicotine or a stronger drug. POTENTIAL is actually a narcotic in the form of word picture and you have all of panting and begging for more of the drug you are offering. |
| 2019-01-13 02:35:41 |
My lil bro kenneth pt 1
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The more you compose the more proficient you will become. This is a free amateur site. I post my scribbling on the pay sites, but I have a degree in journalism and communication.. Keep practicing. |
| 2019-01-13 02:19:47 |
max makes a new friend
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Don’t beat yourself up. The story is fine. With the characters you are developing there is a lot of potential for future chapters. I liked it because I always wondered what goes on in the boys locker room. |
| 2019-01-13 02:04:03 |
Potential Part 17
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Extraordinary imagination with a ton of creative energy. Your characters are strong and interesting. Obviously you write from experience. You seem to be well versed regarding the race track. Do the scenes depicted in previous chapters originate from personal experience? Your talent lies in your ability to create characters and plot that are believable. Keep it up and do not allow a few negative comments to distract you. Personally I liked Becky pissing on Jason’s leg. That was one hot scene! |