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Comments from dcvngtn3
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2019-04-09 08:31:01 | A Nudist Family | Great story! Can't wait for more! |
| 2019-04-24 02:46:21 | Potential Part 1 | Just read this first part over at WolfPub. I read the part about school desks not being built for people over 6 foot and felt the need to comment. This is seriously something that a lot of people don't know - school desks are usually built for those that are 5'9 and under and when you're taller than that you have to slouch which will cause back issues. Anyway, I was glad to see that tidbit in a story, and even if it's just the first part of the story it seems to be fairly well written! |
| 2019-07-09 22:58:13 | Growing up Polygamy 3! | Excellent! All three parts were wonderfully written! |
| 2019-10-14 22:52:05 | How Polygamy Begins - 1 | So, the plot seems ok, but it is rather a hard read because of the format of the dialogue. Every time a different person speaks should be in quotes and it should be it's own paragraph. "Jay, you need to ask Heather out on a proper date," says Connie. "What," exclaims Rachel, "I didn't get a proper date." Pay attention to tense, either be past tense the whole time or present tense, don't switch between the two. Lastly, make sure you tell us who is talking. "Wait, wait, wait, Rachel cry's out, that's where you're going to start the story?" "Yeah baby, you should start at the beginning." "Yeah you idiot, at least tell them about when we all met." "Yeah honey, why don't you start with when you and Rach first met? Then me, Heather, and Sue." "Yeah, in order idiot!" "Okay, okay, I'll do it your way girls." That whole block of text needs to be broken down and have names attached to who is saying what or else it looks like Jay is having a weird conversation with Rachel. |
| 2020-04-20 00:26:06 | A Family Man: Part 6 Crossroads | Great set of stories, I wish you'd write more. |