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Comments from JohnThomas63118
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2014-12-10 15:42:43 | Making Mommy Mine | Great start, hope you do a few more chapters. |
| 2017-08-24 17:08:33 | Danny has fun with Mom and Older Sister | There is two things that make a reader (me) to first start reading a story and then continue reading it. 1.) Subject - you selected some of it, and rightfully so, but you may have one or two more to get more readers interested. 2.) The story itself - the story part is also broken down to two(2) things a.) Content - does the story and characters move me (the reader). This story and characters did, but you may want to expand on why the father was so opposed to the military. b.) Readability - Spelling, grammar, you the stuff you suppose learn in English composition classes. This is important, but given a choice between a good concept or perfect composition I would have concept. This is just my opinion though word and grammar check and a week or two before final proofreading may help improve your style without destroying the idea of the plot. |
| 2014-10-30 14:44:02 | Our Tiny Secret Pt l (revised) | good Start, but as Mention it a wall of words and hard yo follow but not boring, break up the paragraphs and remember when someone else speaks it a new paragraph. Please continue with you story. |
| 2017-08-19 12:15:20 | Tuition Fees | I hope there is a second chapter coming soon. |
| 2017-08-28 12:32:05 | Family Vacation; Sibling Bonding Pt. 2 | Sound great so far. Would like to see more of this story. And the parents, will they remain blind to their children's activities or do they have their own issues as well? |