Despite her derogatory comments about it, Arabella had picked up Falco’s old armour and hung it up on her sales rack. She never offered him any cash for it. He didn’t worry too much about that; he was just thrilled at how the day had gone so far.
Falco swam up to the surface three gold poorer but feeling pretty good about his new armour and his new weaponry. For the first time in his life he had some decent gear. Women would look at him differently now.
And then there were his three new conquests back in the well. They had been unable to resist him. He would need to go back pretty soon for some more sex. For now he wanted some food to recover from the workout those three had given him and maybe a few beers to celebrate his sexual success. He headed to Fish’s Ale House.
The tavern was quiet that time of day. Even that fag High Elf wasn’t there to bother him. Falco was glad of that. He needed to think about the bind he was just beginning to realize he was in. The fearful reaction of the girls when he mentioned M’Tun was a sobering moment. The more he considered the facts the more disquieted he felt about the situation.
He used the last bit of copper in his wallet to pay for his lunch and a third pint while he reviewed the trouble he might be in. He was not confident in any way that his failure to deliver that message would be attributed to causes beyond his control. He had spent the gold he had been given so there was no paying M’Tun back if that Dark Elf considered the contract incomplete. The more he pondered that the more he realized M’Tun would most likely want his gold back.
He decided it may be best if he found a way to deliver that stupid message after all. But it seemed unlikely there would be any chance to speak quietly to Sprockfuddle in the near future.
He sat there another half hour. He drained his beer mug and slammed it down resolutely. He had thought up a plan that would get him to Sprockfuddle. It was perhaps more inspired by ale and stupidity than cleverness, but he could think of no other option. He could get that message delivered.
A little typsy, Falco got up and left the Ale House. He wondered through the Harbour District and into South Qeynos. He was looking for a female guard. Any female guard would do, he reasoned, but if he was lucky enough to get one with an attitude, that would be best.
Near the south gate, the Guard Thorsona was stationed. She had been in a bad mood all shift. Her boyfriend had gone off yesterday without her and the rumours were flying that he was messing around with one of Vishra’s slutty daughters. She was still furious a full day after she had heard about it.
It was at that point that some idiot Wood Elf approached her. No doubt he was another newcomer to Qeynos, lost and looking for some store or person. She was in no mood to give yet another imbecile directions to the closest blacksmith or merchant. Why did he need to bother her now when she had relationship worries? She sighed at the inconvenience of these citizens.
“Excuse me, Honey” The Wood Elf’’s salutation lacked respect and did not improve her mood. “I wonder if you could help me.”
Falco did not miss the eye-rolling look the lady guard gave him. Good. She was clearly not in a mood to deal with some asshole, which he was about to be.
“How can I help you, Citizen?” she asked wearily. She hardly betrayed a desire to be helpful.
Falco took a deep breath and prepared himself. “Well, I am new in town. As you may guess, I haven’t met any girlfriends yet...”
“The nearest brothel is in Freeport, Citizen.” Her tone conveyed what she thought of loser males who use prostitutes because they can’t get a real girlfriend. “We don’t tolerate that kind of business here. Best give up on that quest...male.” She said ‘male’ as if it tasted like shit in her mouth.
“Oh, no, Sweetie. I don’t need a whore house. Only stupid men give money to women. I was looking for a sexy Human female to fuck for free. I heard Humans were easy and I figured you looked a bit loose and would be ok giving me a quickie. Maybe over there behind the stables?” He swept a hand toward the filthy horse barn thirty yards away and waited with an optimistic dumbass look on his face.
“What??!!” She glared at Falco in disgust. “Are you aware I am on duty, you...fucking male?”
“Well yes, but I figured a person of your morals would let me stick my dick in you and go at it on top, you know? Unless, of course, two or three men have already used your hole today; I deserve better than sloppy seconds.”
Falco was sure that was enough to get her as mad as he needed but for good measure he added “you know you want it, Baby! How about trying some wood from a Wood Elf for a change!”
Falco never even felt the blow from the shaft of Thorsona’s poleaxe. He was laid him out on the grass seeing stars. The ground started to spin around and then everything faded to black. Three other guards rushed over to the commotion at Thorsona’s post and looked dispassionately at the unconscious Falco.
“Pick this creep up and toss him in the slammer” she told them. “I’m going to get my boyfriend to give him some special treatment after my shift is over.”
Falco woke up in a dim cell. It was large with several cots, including the one he was lying on. There was a second cell adjacent to his but it was currently unoccupied.
He was dressed in a rough spun jerkin and trousers. There was no sign of his new armour nor his bo staff nor his pack.
He had one bad headache and a single cell mate; a Gnome sitting angrily on his cot glowering at nothing. “Stupid taxes” he told Falco. “Do you know how much our incarceration is costing? All paid for by our stupid taxes.” The Gnome hrumphed then repeated in case Falco had not heard clearly “stupid taxes.”
Falco did not know anything about taxes. All he knew was he was in a jail cell with an angry little asshole. He prayed this was Sprockfuddle. If this particular Gnome was some other angry little asshole he was now in even more trouble than before he had propositioned that snooty bitch guard. But he calculated that this was indeed Sprockfuddle and that his plan had worked out well. He touched his bruised head tenderly. Maybe it had worked out a little too well. Why were women hitting him on the head today?
He checked to ensure no one was nearby and said in a whisper. “My name is Falco. If you are Sprockfuddle we have a mutual friend out in Antonica.”
He could see by the Gnome’s uncomfortable reaction he had found Sprockfuddle but the Gnome responded guardedly. “I have no friend out in Antonica.”
“Really?” Falco persisted “No dark friend, say, who has a.......TON of GALL?”
It took the Gnome a moment to decipher the opaque hint. “A dark friend with a ton of gall, you say?”The Gnome looked straight at Falco and finally said. “Alright, my name is Sprockfuddle. Tell me our dark friend’s name and I will know we have mutual ‘friends’.”
Falco’s whisper dropped to barely perceptible “His first name is Gol. You tell me his last name.”
The Gnome seemed to relax. “Alright.it’s ‘M’Tun’. And let’s never speak his name again. We have mutual friends, fine.”
Sprockfuddle looked perceptively at Falco. “I figure it’s no accident you ended up in this jail. What is your business with me that’s so important that you needed to get a lump on your head just to speak to me?”
“Our friend wanted me to deliver the following message: “The Queen’s Guard is aware of us. We have made a new arrangement. Tell your friends to meet a Ratonga named Yuri on the beach south of Archer’s Woods.”
“Damn!” the Gnome sputtered “that’s not good news. And there’s not much I can do about that, anyway, trapped in here using up all these taxes. This is why Qeynos is such a stupid place. If we were in Freeport, things would be different. They know how to run things economically there. Stupid Qeynos taxes!”
With that out of his system, Sprockfuddle lowered his voice and continued “One of us needs to let our friend know of the present situation as regards our imprisonment. I’m here for a while. How likely are you to get out of here in a few hours or even tomorrow? What did you do to get in here?”
“I made explicit sexual invitations to a female guard.”
“...And for that they are spending perfectly good taxes to lock you up? By Brell, Qeynos women need to learn to know a compliment when they get one--”
Any further discussion ended when the jaildoor suddenly opened. An irate Thorsona strode in with a very large angry male guard and a big key. She unlocked the cell door.
Thorsona pointed an shaking finger at Falco as she swung the door open. She was apoplectic. “That’s him, Bauer. Make him apologize to me, Sweetie.”
Bauer did not need further urging from his girlfriend. He needed to redeem himself.
Bauer had never thought Thorsona would find out about his dalliance with Amber Vishra. It wasn’t his fault; Amber had been begging him for it ever since that party last week and he had finally given in to the temptation. He had tried to tell Thorsona that it did not mean anything; all the other guards in his troop were screwing her too but that had only made Thorsona angrier.
Bauer had hoped he could beg forgiveness with an expensive gift and there would be some good makeup sex tonight. Instead Thorsona had made him follow her down to the cells to deal with this little asshole.
He was not just annoyed that this fool Wood Elf had made a pass at his bitch; he was especially annoyed that that had put her in no mood for any loving tonight. No one cut in on his sex life by upsetting his lady and this Wood Elf was going to get one nice beating for ruining his night. He approached Falco angrily.
All Falco had time think was “Oh, no!” He instinctively stood up from his cot in an obsequious effort to show respect.
Bauer was having none of that respect. He towered over Falco. “You said all those disrespectful things to my girlfriend, you little prick? No wonder you have to visit brothels, you worm!”
With that he punched Falco hard, right in the stomach. Falco staggered back.
Thorsona’s eyes widened excitedly. “...No, punch him in the face, Honey. Give him a fat lip, Baby! Show me you love me. Give him a fat lip!”
Falco took a punch right in the kisser from Bauer’s huge fist. Blood filled his mouth.
Thorsona was clearly happy to see the punch land and panted excitedly “yeah Baby! You do love me!”
Her hand moved down to her crotch. “Make sure you give him a black eye” she implored Bauer and she rubbed herself through her clothes as she watched him wind up and pop Falco right in the eye. “Oooh!” she murmured and shivered, falling back against the cell bars still pleasuring herself. Thorsona did not even bother with the Gnome in the cell. She gave her full attention to her man beating up Falco. She pushed her hand down inside her leggings and started seriously diddling as she watched her man be a man for her.
Falco had to take it. He knew defending himself would do nothing but earn further punches. He ruefully thought how this morning he had accepted a job that would earn him a quick, easy three gold. Now the three gold did not seem worth what he was going through.
Another blow landed on his jaw. There was nothing like an angry boyfriend, he reflected as he tried to remain standing. Just please let the beating stop before he breaks some bones, he prayed.
He took a blow to the solar plexus and fell painfully, struggling for air. He was dimly aware he was on the ground and someone was kicking his ribs. A disembodied voice told him “This is for thinking my girlfriend was a cheap slut, Asshole!”
Falco rolled over in pain. Bauer paused to catch his breath.
“What are you stopping for, Baby? He hasn’t had enough for what he said to me. Make his balls hurt.”
Bauer lifted him up to his feet and obediently kneed him in the nuts. Falco sprawled back onto his cot and curled up in pain. He was dimly aware Thorsona was cumming as she fingered-fucked her quim, watching.
Lying there half conscious in a fetal position Falco took one especially hard stomp on the kidneys. He tried to ask for mercy but only incoherent pleas escaped his battered face and split lip. He rolled off the cot onto the floor where he took a few more kicks.
Sprockfuddle began to wince at each successive blow. Despite being used to the way of things in the tougher parts of the world, he had not seen a beating as hard as this one for a long time. He hoped they wouldn’t turn on him next.
Thorsona watched several more blows land on Falco, shouting encouragements for Bauer to keep going. When Bauer finally stopped, she pulled her sopping hand out of her pants and came over to examine the battered Falco. She gave him a hard kick to the ribs then said “let’s have a look at your work, Baby!”
Bauer obligingly picked Falco up off the floor and tossed him on his cot so Thorsona could see how much he cared about her. She looked closely at Falco’s smashed face. She smeared her pussy-soaked hand on Falco’s bloody lips then squeezed his testes painfully hard as she spoke.“Yeah, you really did a good job on him, Baby! Look at that shiner you gave him. And you split his lip just like I asked.”
She let go of Falco’s aching scrotum and turned to Bauer. “You earned some loving tonight, Cupcake.” She got up close to him and rubbed her crotch hard into Bauer’s thigh in an attempt at giving herself another orgasm while Bauer ran his hands all over her ass.
“Baby, you care about me!” she sighed lovingly and kept humping his thigh. “You messed him up good!”
Falco was washing in and out of awareness. He vowed he would have his revenge on this bastard Bauer for this beating but for now he could not even lift his head. The last thing Falco heard was Bauer asking “Cum for me, Honey? Right here?”