Some explication of lifestyle of BDSM for Submission people and masters.
From the moment a submissive must call his partner not by his first name but Sir, master or any other equivalent wording she enters the world of rules. The rules are the material support of the discipline to which the submissive bends, it is by her obedience to these rules that she expresses her submission.
Without rules the BDSM relationship is nothing more than an SM relationship that does not confess. Some will need few rules to feel bound, as opposed to others clamoring for many and complex rules, it is up to the master to find the right measure.
Some are content to enact rules in the sandstone of their fantasy of the moment. It is much more coherent and therefore structuring for the submissive to set a framework of main principles, the rules of everyday life being only the application in a particular case.
It is classic, for example, that the masters forbid the wearing of underwear. If the master enacts such a rule it is probable that the submissive sees only the expression of a whim of which she perceives the interest incorrectly; Whereas if this decision is an illustration of the principle of accessibility of orifices, for example, the rule takes a completely different meaning.
The frame:
On the Internet there are different versions of the rules to which a submissive must comply. The most famous version, entitled "The 12 Rules of submission", was promoted in France by Mastermind and has since been widely disseminated, even looted. Some, betrayed by their unconscious, have reduced them to the pitiful catalogue of their fantasies without any logic or coherence, thus revealing the poor vision they have of their submissive. It is up to everyone to rewrite them according to their desires of their choices because they will be the foundation of the relationship they intend to build with their submissive.
Here is a version, dating from 2005, of the "legislative" framework which served as a support to the rules of life and guidelines that my submissive had to respect. Reflecting this my vision of the time, this framework has, as I have, evolved over the years, feeding on my experience of my maturation.
The Ten Commandments of the submissive
1 – by falsehood or omission, the truth thou shall not disguise: in no case shall the submissive conceal or disguise the truth to his master. She will have to spontaneously share her concerns of whatever nature they may be. She will have to spontaneously entrust her desires her cravings her needs her fantasies. She will have to express her fears and doubts.
2-Your free time, you will devote me: the submissive will be held constantly at the disposal of the master to welcome him or to go to his summons. At any moment she will stand ready to satisfy her desires and obey her orders. The submissive must make sure that his master knows at any time where she is. She must make sure that she is available at any time.
3 – Never my decisions, Thou shall not contest: the submissive having all confidence in her master and having given her power, she therefore relies entirely upon him and his judgment. In the case of a misunderstanding of an intention of his master, the submissive will accept to lend himself to his requirements, but may mention her misunderstanding.
4-To my pleasure and to my well-being, thou shall watch: the submissive shall constantly take care of the well-being of his master. She will go to the front of her desires. She will pass the pleasure of the master before hers she shall ensure that her own pleasure is not hindered by that of the master.
5 – A respectful attitude you adopt: the submissive will always have a respectful attitude vis-a-vis his master. Thus his words will be wisely chosen, will never be aggressive, let alone show any sign of impatience or anger.
6-adorned and blameless, always thou shall be: the submissive shall make sure to be permanently desirable to his master. The submissive will bear with pride the outfits that her master imposes on her. In the absence of the master the submissive will wear neutral outfits and avoid provoking the eyes of other men.
The submissive will maintain impeccable hygiene at all times and will especially ensure the cleanliness of its openings.
7-of thy body, no access thou shall not refuse me: in the presence of his master, the submissive shall at all times and as long as he leaves her freedom, leave his various openings within the reach of his master and make him easier to access. The latter will have full access to its subject. So he can have fun with her all at leisure.
8-of thy faults, the punishment thou Imploreras: For every breach of one of the rules of the contract or one of the instructions given by the master, punishment shall be imposed upon the submissive. The importance of punishment will naturally depend on the severity of the fault, but also on who reported the fault first. If the fault is confessed by the submissive before it is ascertained by the master the punishment will be less.
In any case the fault will be recorded in a journal of faults in order to record the punishment relating thereto and to make the necessary corrections to the education of the submissive.
9-The punishments with gratitude you will suffer: the punishments shall be experienced as extreme marks of attention on the part of the master aiming to advance the submissive. Accordingly, the submissive will be obliged to thank the master for this attention by giving him all marks of humility and affection.
10-with anyone, the same behavior you adopt: The submissive must constantly have a respectful attitude vis the other masters so as not to tarnish the necklace she wears. In the face of the misconduct of a master, she will have to remind him politely but firmly that she is the exclusive property of her master and that any misconduct towards her is an insult to his master.
Rules of Life
The rules of life and the instructions are the projection in the daily of the commandments. The guidelines could be defined as rules whose application is limited in duration and in scope as opposed to the rules of life without limits of validity, then we will use the term rules.
The rules have in fact several functions:
The most obvious of this is to be the practical application of the principles enacted by the commandments. The rules indicate to the submissive how face has a specific concrete situation to behave to respect a particular command. The prohibition of the wearing of the panties, already mentioned, appears as the logical consequence of the sixth and Seventh Commandments.
The rules also have an "educational" function, it is by the respect of them that the submissive develops every day her aptitude for obedience and that she progresses in the path she has chosen. The ban on panties is a simple rule to respect and to evaluate, either the submissive has respected it or not there are no problems of interpretation.. As the progress of the subject more complex rules are introduced.
Finally by their presence these rules are for the submissive and for the master a reminder of the bond that the United, it is by their observance that this one gradually strengthens. For the submissive to abide by a rule, goes much further than a simple obedience to an authority, it is to affirm its belonging to its master, it is to affirm that what we do is by and for him.
For the master to give rules and to ensure their respect is to stand by the side of his submissive to be present at any moment. In the previous example of the briefs by giving up the submissive wears, for the pleasure of his master, in a situation not always easy to manage, so at every moment of the day or she feels the absence of the briefs she perceives the implicit presence of her quartermaster Re.
Before any introduction of a new rule it will be good to explain the purpose and to make sure that the submissive understands the underlying motivations. It is at this price that it will adhere to it and see in the rules a step forward in the relationship. If it sees only an arbitrary measure, it will suffer but without profit and will live the rules as an unjustified burden.
Commandments of the Master
The BDSM relationship is a relationship based on exchange and fairness. This can only be fulfilling and functioning if there is respect for these principles and therefore symmetry in the investment of each one.
When she gives herself to her master the submissive hands him the power, accepting it the master thus acquires rights but also duties, proportional, vis-a-vis her. He who has all the rights can only have all the duties except to be no longer a master but a vulgar domestic tyrant.
The duties of the master may seem obvious when reading the previous pages of this site, many are only the application of the definition of the master and the translation of "on healthy and consensual".
To do so during the "Ten Commandments of the submissive", he nevertheless seemed necessary to me to write the "Ten Beginnings of the master" which are reciprocal.
The Ten Commandments of the master
1-A permanent dialogue tu Entretiendras: The master must constantly listen to his submissive and maintain the dialogue. He will ensure that his submissive can freely express his desires, his needs, but also his doubts and fears. It is on the basis of this dialogue that he will adapt his conduct to develop the relationship by banning any emotional blackmail to establish his grip on his submissive.
2-With respect thou will treat her: The Master shall treat his submissive with the respect due to that which has given himself to him. He will not seek to diminish it or degrade it, it is by the growing that it shows its strength, it is by lowering it that it would betray its weaknesses. On the part of the master, it will be to show respect and grandeur to know how to recognize his faults, his mistakes and correct them.
3-to the integrity of his mind and body you will be careful: by giving himself to his master the submissive is placed in a state of physical and emotional dependence, accepting it becomes an accountant of his integrity. He will be careful not to hurt her by dangerous practices or that he does not control. It will ensure that it does not use the power it gives to it to demean or degrade it.
4-to its blossoming you will watch.
The master will be attentive to the pleasure and well being of his submissive refines that the latter finds his blossoming at his ribs. It will ensure that it progresses in its personal development and in its submissiveness in a harmonious way allowing it to build itself.
5-The time required you will devote to him: in order to best guide the evolution of his submissive, the master will devote to him the time necessary for his flourishing. In any case he will have to devote to him a time at least equal to that which he requires that she dedicates to their relationship.
6-Adapted orders you will give: the master will ensure that his orders are adapted to the possibilities of his submissive, that they conform to his progression and comply with the limits laid down. The orders will never be the translation of any passing whim of the master.
7-To improve you always you will watch: In order to be able to accompany the progress of its submissive to the best, the master will ensure constantly acquiring new knowledge both theoretical and practical. He will have to be able to progress in his vision of BDSM and relationship, otherwise he might be overwhelmed and become a hindrance to the evolution of his submissive.
8-With fairness thou shall chastise: The master shall apply the punishments, that after explaining the motive has his submissive and making sure that she has understood it correctly. He will choose corporal punishment or not adapted to the fault, without excess but without complacency. Punishments will never be used as alibis to the desires of poorly assumed SM games.
9-without wrath thou shall punish: in order to always apply the punishments with measure and fairness, the master will refrain from punishing his submissive under the influence of Wrath. He will not use the punishment as an outlet to his own tensions.
10-With all the same behavior Adoptas: The master will behave in front of the other submissives, wearing collar or not, with respect and kindness. He would tend a helping hand to any submissive in distress. He will respect the collar of the other masters.