half-dead weird green

Random headcanon: the reason that Peach and Bowser don’t seem to get a lot of respect in some Super Mario games is because the Mushroom Kingdom is kind of a rural backwater and isn’t terribly important or influential politically, so people tend to regard Bowser as a C-list villain for being so hung up on such an insignificant conquest. Nobody really expects Bowser to be a serious threat – that would be like expecting a guy whose main claim to fame is repeatedly failing to conquer Wyoming to be a serious threat – so they get taken by surprise every single time.

So what you’re saying is that Bowser is more or less on the same level of villainy as Dr. Doofenshmirtz?

Oh, quite the opposite – point him at any target that isn’t the Mushroom Kindgom and he’s this massive outside context problem that rolls over entire armies and cracks planets in half. It’s just the Mushroom Kingdom in particular he can’t seem to figure out, and that bothers him terribly.

The obvious implication is that, like, Mario is an A-tier hero who happens to live in a C-tier nation.

Like, if Clark Kent hadn’t moved to the big city for a reporting job, he’d still be Superman. And there’s be some villain who tried to knock over a bank in Bumfuck Kansas and wound up having a very bad day.

(And eventually we have Lex Luthor spending a huge amount of time trying and failing to run some penny-ante scheme in rural Kansas and failing, and no one can take him seriously despite the fact that he’s just as competent as he would be in canon.)

In Oregon there lives a species of snake capable of surviving tetrodotoxin doses strong enough to kill animals thousands of times their size. This is because they evolved alongside a species of poisonous newt which they consume regularly, which produces ludicrous amounts of a poison thousands of times stronger than cyanide. They got to this point by fighting each other in the same bumfuck nowhere habitat for millions of years. The newts got more toxic to fight the snakes. The snakes got better immunity to keep eating newts. Now we’re left with snakes capable of eating some of the most poisonous creatures alive, and newts so deadly that they are inedible to anything other than these snakes.

What I’m trying to say is that Mario and Bowser are the result of two evenly-matched overpowered idiots fighting the same battle for decades. The consequences only become clear when you square them up to literally anything else.

just remembered music is real

This post is for fans of MUSIC only

its not inexplicable to me. i could explic it.

the new 7 cardinal sins are mommy blogging, making mukbang videos, advertising a book by listing its tropes only, clickbait, making musical biopics, manosphere podcasts, and commenting "mommy? sorry" on a random person's picture

lord take away all of megan thee stallion’s pain and please give it to biden

was about to make a silly post about how i'm lying on my bed, kicking my legs in the air, smiling like a teen girl in love, while reading about mealworm pathogens, but that post is cancelled because i found this gif instead

you contradict yourself because you contain multitudes. i contradict myself because i am wrong.

when rest and "lazy days" stop being optional, you eventually stop enjoying it. i don't even know how to relax anymore. there's barely any relaxation in rest for me, it's all forced by a sick body.

Trump is going to prison

Trump is going to prison

bet ray sipe is milly rocking right now

2006

can we do the other presidents next?

byron. come here to memy son. i have been defeated. we have been defeated. my sweet child. swallow this pill with daddeh. it’ll be over soon. i love you. i love this nation. god bless these great united states. good buh buh

thinking about how when you experience a lot of shame in your formative years (indirectly, directly, as abuse or just as an extant part of your environment) it becomes really difficult to be perceived by other people in general. the mere concept of someone watching me do anything, whether it's a totally normal activity or something unfamiliar of embarrassing, whether I'm working in an excel spreadsheet or being horny on main, it just makes my skin crawl and my brain turn to static because I cannot convince myself that it's okay to be seen and experienced. because to exist is to be ashamed and embarrassed of myself, whether I'm failing at something or not, because my instinctive reaction to anyone commenting on ANYTHING I'm doing is to crawl into a hole and die. it's such a bizarre and dehumanizing feeling to just not be able to exist without constantly thinking about how you are being Perceived. ceaseless watcher give me a god damn break.