| 2009-12-07 14:00:29 |
mom sis and me
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poor character layout, no forethought was given to the format, please study other people's work and understand why they use what they do in English language quotes and text placement of character and consistency in storylines |
| 2010-03-11 10:14:28 |
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totally off-topic ramblings of a bemused person, totally unreal and appears to have no semblance to the truth |
| 2010-03-11 10:19:02 |
The best of 2 worlds part1
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appears to be totally off-topic, ; 'ENEMAS' whatever happened to originality let's stick to the storylines as in ENEMA |
| 2010-03-19 15:49:50 |
My neighbour two doors down.
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quite believable, the lust of an older female in the enthusiasm of youth when the entire scenario was pretty well formatted would slightly more detail be appreciated in certain parts. Well done |
| 2010-04-30 14:54:49 |
Whata Week- Day 3
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a few major writing errors, females do not have prostrate glands, the timelines are somewhat vague. |