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Comments from Dudley Dowrong
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2018-06-19 01:06:09 | The Girls Next Door ? 3 | The background on how the "hot Friday night" came to be is very good. Your development & anticipation What's going to happen next" is professional. |
| 2018-06-19 11:42:22 | The Girls Next Door - 5 | over all - fantastic! A few places, words omitted, or a space omitted between words. This is where your "proof reading" skills need to enter the process. As another belated suggestion, in conversational dialog, a double space between every entry, all shorter lines & a space between. I don't see the "hero" as a whimp but a caring, compassionate lover (not a non-caring, maucho selfish jerk). Bwincfl, you got your characters mixed up, Anna & CJ are virgins, CJ on the pill; Anna being in danger. Alissa & Amanda, sisters, neither virgins & both on pills. I thought the Amanda - Anna interplay was a great surprise that shows "family" concerns. All of them recognized the need for extra nurturing toward Anna, 15, virgin, youngest of the 4, crush age, etc. Afermation of her new status, known only to the the "family five"., but crutial to Anna. Excellent interplay of the plot! |
| 2018-06-21 10:42:49 | The Girls Next Door ? 9 - Spring Break Pt.2 | want to comment on the abusive treatment of Anna & CJ but not sure what to say. I realize that some women may be "turned" toward receiving abusive treatment but the characterization of these two sisters seem to indicate otherwise, especially at such a young age. Usually such traits start exhibiting such behavior in their 20's unless there has been an abusive father or other authoritian figure guiding such behavior verbally or physically. Of course, this is a fantasy story so such liberal creative literary license is acceptable. That fact is why it's so difficult to comment. Still a great story line & getting better with each chapter. |
| 2018-06-23 11:18:49 | A cruise to remember - rewritten | Exactly what I was looking for. Fantastic, well written, very tastefully presented. |
| 2018-06-26 12:41:02 | Fun With Video Porn | Now that's what I'm talking about. Good friends getting closer in foursome relationships expanding their love & "family"experiences. Well written! would like to read about the next weekend & Susies reaction to the DP action. And in the next chapter, would Suzie & Judy 69 to stimulate their husbands, maybe an ass fuck in the one on top diuring the 69? |